Them: …and so our game isn’t as fun anymore.
Me: I’m sorry to hear that. How does your GM feel about it?
Them: We haven’t really told them.
Me: Oh, you should probably let them know.
Them: At this point, it feels weird to bring it up.
I’ve had this conversation several times with several different RPG groups. Many tables do not have an adequate feedback system for players to tell each other and the GM how they feel about the session they just played. Maybe the GM says, “Let me know if you have any feedback.” That is not good enough. Most players will not feel confident enough to speak up except for the most serious offenses. As a GM (or as a fellow player), you should crave feedback—even for minor things—so that you can craft a better experience for your group. One way to better encourage feedback is “Rose, Thorn, Bud.” At the end of every session, leave five minutes to do this exercise with your group.
Roses (or favorite moments)
Go around the table and share your favorite moment from that session.
I loved when you used that amulet to deflect the fireball. That was so cool!
I liked solving the mystery. It was a different pace from our usual combat-focused encounters.
That monster in the dungeon was our hardest fight yet! I’m glad we all got to use our new abilities this session.
That blacksmith character is so funny. I’ve never laughed so much.
Printing out my spell list really helped. I didn’t have to keep checking the book.
One version of this is to say, “Say one thing that you liked that you did and one thing that someone else did.” You can say multiple things. If you can, try to make sure everyone gets a compliment. People can give out multiple roses, but try to keep things moving.
Thorns
I like doing thorns in the middle because it forms a nice “compliment sandwich.” Thorns are moments of friction. What moments were not fun? Try to be constructive with feedback.
The dungeon kinda took a lot of time to get through. I kinda liked the shorter dungeons better.
I felt like I didn’t have a lot to do in that battle. My character is a spellcaster, and none of my spells really made sense in that situation.
So, I guess I’m not super clear on what it is that we’re doing. Like, I know we gotta defeat this Count guy, but like, why?
I was sorta out of it today, guys. I didn’t sleep much last night. Sorry if I kept getting distracted.
We spent so much time planning, we didn’t really do anything!
We just went in without a plan. I think we should have spent more time planning.
Don’t let these become long discussions. If people really have a lot to say about a particular point, put a pin in it and talk about it after finishing Rose, Thorn, Bud. Keeping things moving during this section is the hardest part, because people will want to argue.
Thorns shouldn’t just be times that the players didn’t succeed. “My character got knocked unconscious during the fight” isn’t really a good thorn. Character arcs will have highs and lows. That’s a part of good storytelling, and players need to be able to have fun even when their character is going through lows. However, if the player says, “I got knocked unconscious. It felt random, and I’m not sure how I could have prevented it,” then that is a good thorn.
Thorns also shouldn’t be that serious. “I felt really uncomfortable during that very heavy scene and wanted to stop playing.” If a content boundary is being crossed, it should be dealt with immediately. No one should wait until the Rose, Thorn, Bud to bring that up.
Thorns aren’t just feedback for the GM. It’s feedback for all players. “I feel like the story is revolving around Aelis and Bohb, and my character, Charleigh, feels like a side character.” Everyone should be thinking about how to make Charleigh seem more like a protagonist. Or perhaps the other players disagree. Maybe they feel that Charleigh has had too much time in the spotlight, and that player is only upset because he is no longer the center of attention. Finding a happy medium will take discussion and compromise.
Buds
Buds are new ideas for future sessions. They could be things you plan to do or wishes for where you want the story to go.
After seeing what the evil Necromancer did to that village, I can’t wait to fight him.
I think my character is starting to like being seen as a hero. I think she’s not as shy as she used to be. She’s starting to open up.
There are pirates in this world? It’d be cool if we could buy a ship or something.
Next session, we gotta talk to that Enchanter guy. I don’t trust him.
If it’s possible, I want to do more roleplay stuff next time. We’ve done a bunch of combat.
This is the GM’s opportunity to get some free inspiration. Try to see how many of these buds you can incorporate into the story. Also, planning the next session around the player’s wishes means there’s a chance they might actually stick to the stuff you’ve prepared.
Alternative: Stars and Wishes
A similar alternative is Stars and Wishes, where Roses are called Stars, and Thorns and Buds are merged into Wishes. It softens the harshness of Thorns by rephrasing them into Wishes. I recommend reading the linked article to learn more. That may be a better fit for your group; however, I still prefer Rose, Thorn, Bud.
In my personal experience, I think people appreciate a little bit of candid criticism. If a Thorn is not taken well, then one of two things has happened. The first case is where the Thorn was said in a rude or accusatory manner. Remember to be kind and constructive when giving criticism. Be humble and apologize sincerely if it comes out wrong. The second case is where there is an individual in the group who takes it personally whenever they receive any criticism at all. When such a player is at your table, it makes it very difficult to give any notes whatsoever. Everyone is constantly walking on eggshells trying not to upset them. This situation is not a problem with the feedback system. It’s a problem with the group dynamic. You need to have a chat with this player and see if they’re emotionally ready to continue with the game.
Ultimately, the goal is collaborative storytelling, and collaboration will require communication and compromise. If your group has an issue with giving each other a little constructive criticism, there might be a deeper issue to consider. That being said, every group is different. Do what works best for you!